So, you’ve been living in a foreign country for a while and learning its language for about the same amount of time. You expected your level to be much higher by now—that communication would no longer be such a challenge after so much time immersed in the environment. Yet somehow, despite making considerable progress, you’re still struggling. In everyday situations, you often feel uncertain, unable to express yourself clearly or follow the natural flow of native speakers’ speech.

Let’s explore the potential blockers and dive into the psychology behind this experience. Along the way, you may gain new insights, find fresh inspiration, regain your confidence, and hopefully pick up some practical strategies to help you move forward.

In foreign language learning, there’s a concept known as the plateau. This is a phase—typically at the intermediate level—where your progress seems to stall or slow down significantly, even though you’re still studying or immersed in the language. You may feel like you’re not improving as quickly as before. You understand a lot but still struggle to express yourself naturally. You keep making the same mistakes, and you feel stuck at the intermediate level, unable to break through to advanced fluency.

The reasons for this plateau can vary, but they often include the following: the basics are already covered, so further improvements become more nuanced and less noticeable; passive exposure no longer pushes you out of your comfort zone; and you may feel you’re functioning “well enough” in daily life, reducing the pressure to study more intensely.

That said, this post is primarily for those who are motivated to move forward but still find themselves treading water in this plateau phase. If, in theory, you’d love to reach advanced fluency but in practice feel content getting by at an intermediate level, it’s time to revisit your motivation. How would your life change if you were near-native? Picture it vividly. Make a list of exciting changes and opportunities that fluency could bring—and then go after them. But before you do, finish reading this for the rest of this article may still be useful for you.

Here, we’d like to address a few commonly overlooked issues. See if you can relate to this:

You’ve heard the story a million times: once you’re immersed in a language environment, the language will practically learn itself. Just go out there, expose yourself to the culture and the language, and it will come to you naturally. There are countless inspiring examples, too—real people who’ve made it. Remember Rosie and Johnny? They’re absolutely rocking Thai now! If they could do it, you can do it too.

So, you strive to be like them. You repeat to yourself, “I can do this.” But somehow, each experience seems to prove you wrong. It’s frustrating. Still, you don’t give up—you keep trying, and you do see progress… until, say, you get an unexpected phone call and can hardly understand a thing. Then, the cycle repeats.

If this story sounds familiar, it’s no wonder you’re struggling—and here’s why. This narrative is most often told by people who are not in the same situation and who are very unlikely to have any real experience learning a foreign language, even in the comfort of their own country—let alone in a foreign one. It’s a myth, like so many others around us.

Every adult learner will agree: learning a language requires time and effort. A language doesn’t learn itself. It’s true that immersion can offer certain advantages—like exposure to natural pronunciation that can be picked up with relatively little effort (by some—not everyone), and the constant presence of native speakers you can (and often must) interact with daily. People working in the service sector, for example, create natural opportunities for conversation.

This kind of environment can help keep your motivation alive. But on the other hand, you can still be highly motivated and make great progress no matter where you are—without the pressure and frustration that constant immersion can bring.

Then, who are these unbelievable Rosie and Johnny? If they do exist and truly excel in Thai (just an example), let’s ask useful questions instead of comparing ourselves to anecdotal characters who may only live in the storyteller’s imagination.

What is their first language? It might be very similar to the target language, making any comparison unfair from the start. How long have they been studying the language? They may have started long before their move. Most importantly, how did they reach near-native fluency—if they’re actually near-native at all?

It’s easy to impress someone who doesn’t understand a word of the foreign language, and who might then encourage you to push yourself harder. Rosie and Johnny might also be less self-critical than you are. When asked, “How’s your Thai?”, they might confidently say, “Awesome,” even if that’s an exaggeration. Or they may be answering truthfully—just with a very different definition of what “awesome” means and how it’s achieved.

Let’s ask deeper questions now. Why don’t you celebrate the fact that you are an incredibly brave person—someone who has embarked on a wonderful, yet challenging, journey of learning a new language while navigating an unfamiliar environment? If that’s not bravery, then what is?

Why do you beat yourself up for not meeting a standard you’ve created in your mind, instead of enjoying the discoveries you make every day? Why do you dwell on your mistakes but take your achievements for granted?

Could it be because you were raised in a family where achievement was tied to acceptance and love? If you were praised only for your successes and not for your efforts, you might have grown up believing you had to perform in order to be good enough. But since there will always be someone who is better—no matter the field—that standard of “good enough” becomes unreachable.

That’s the reality of perfectionism, and it takes root in childhood. It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism your mind adopted to secure the love of the people who mattered most at the time. If, when you didn’t meet their expectations, they withdrew their affection—didn’t you feel less accepted? Didn’t they seem to approve of you more when you excelled?

And now, even as an adult far removed from those caregivers, you may still find yourself running the same program. And that internal pattern does sabotage your progress now. It undermines how you feel about yourself and keeps you from seeing your learning journey for what it truly is—messy, imperfect, and absolutely beautiful.

1. Anticipate the situation and prepare accordingly. For example, imagine you’re about to meet your child’s kindergarten teacher for a parent-teacher conference. You likely already have an idea of what topics might come up—you know your child’s strengths and areas for improvement, and you have questions you’d like to ask. That alone gives you a solid foundation to start preparing in advance. Think about how you’ll phrase your questions and explanations using the grammar and vocabulary you already know. You might need to look up a few key words and/or sentence structures, but try not to overcomplicate things. Simplifying your language will reduce the cognitive load before and during the meeting, especially when stress and emotions may be involved. Keeping things clear and simple helps you stay confident and avoid confusion. Also, try to anticipate possible responses. What might the teacher say, and how would that sound? Fortunately, tools like ChatGPT can be incredibly helpful in preparing for these kinds of conversations.
2. Every little bit helps. Caught up with work and family? Longing for some guilt-free me time? Give yourself some grace. Try carving out small pockets of time for studying—review vocabulary with a flashcard app on the train, read a short article during a coffee break, and do it consistently. These small efforts really do add up over time and can make a meaningful difference. Flashcard apps in particular often use spaced repetition—a highly effective method for learning. It helps strengthen new neural connections in the brain, gradually moving vocabulary from short-term to long-term memory. But most importantly, don’t be hard on yourself for not doing more. You’re doing what you can, when you can—and that’s enough. You make the rules and write your own playbook. Feeling flustered? Respond with flexibility and creativity—two powerful qualities that are just as valuable to develop as language skills.
3. Make sure you have a course book to study with. You might be a big fan of materials scattered across the internet—podcasts, YouTube videos, articles, and more—and that’s great. But it’s still important to have a structured course to follow. Why? Because a good course is designed with a clear vision by qualified instructional designers. It addresses multiple language skills—reading, listening, speaking, and sometimes writing—in an integrated, cohesive way. Of course, some courses may emphasize certain skills more than others, but the more well-rounded the course, the better. You don’t need to attend a class to benefit from such materials; many course books are excellent for self-study. And don’t skip the accompanying workbook—it provides valuable extra practice for reinforcing what you’ve learned in each unit. As for the internet resources you enjoy—by all means, keep using them! Just think of them as a complement to your main course, not a substitute for it.
4. Put yourself out there. You might feel shy or painfully unconfident, but remember what we talked about earlier? These are psychological barriers holding you back. Work on freeing yourself from them. There are resources out there that can genuinely help you heal and adopt a healthier mindset for managing triggers and fears—like the discomfort of joining something unfamiliar, such as a cultural exchange event with locals and fellow foreigners. You might be thinking, “That’s just not my thing,” and I get it—honestly, it’s not really mine either. But the point is, these kinds of experiences can be incredibly beneficial for your language development. They give you the chance to interact with kind, non-judgmental people who are often there specifically to connect with language learners and help them adjust to a new culture. Check out your local community center or similar places where volunteers organize events like these—you might be lucky to have access to them in your area. Give it a try. You may be surprised to find these gatherings more meaningful than they first appear.
5. Extensive reading and listening practice are two powerful ways to both absorb new language input and consolidate everything you’ve learned so far—grammar, vocabulary, pronunciation, accents, and more. Visit your local library and borrow a book—children’s books, in particular, can be great for intermediate to upper-intermediate learners. Choose something short and manageable so you can realistically work through it. Look up unfamiliar vocabulary, take note of grammar patterns, and once you finish the book and return it, borrow another one. Library books offer several advantages: a wide selection at no cost, and a built-in time limit—your return date—which motivates you to keep moving through the material. For listening practice, don’t just passively listen every time. Try shadowing: this means speaking along with the audio in real time, just slightly behind the speaker. It’s not the same as repetition—you’re actively mimicking the speaker as they talk. Having a transcript helps, but it’s not essential. Shadowing is an excellent technique for developing natural intonation and rhythm, and it also reinforces grammar and vocabulary in context—without the need to consciously focus on those two things. When you produce the language, it’s far more likely to stick.
6. Last but not least, don’t underestimate the power of grammar—embrace it and enjoy the process of building it up. Identify a topic you struggle with and dive into it. ChatGPT can be a helpful tool here: ask for explanations, examples, and then follow-up clarification if something isn’t clear. But remember, it’s just a supplement to your learning. A tried-and-true method is using a grammar textbook. Unlike AI tools, it won’t “hallucinate”. A well-designed textbook gives you the essential grammar knowledge that experts agree you need, along with plenty of practice exercises to reinforce it. Then, of course, the key step: integrate what you’ve learned into your everyday speech. Think about how the grammar structures apply to your own life. How can you use them to describe your experiences or express your thoughts? The more personally relevant the practice, the more naturally it will stick.

Did you find this article helpful? Was there a particular part that stood out to you? If you have your own tips, experiences, or even just thoughts to share, feel free to leave a comment below. We always love hearing from you—language learners to fellow language learners. 😊