Writing and posting articles tagged “my diary” still feels a little tricky for me. Not just because it’s something new and not typically done on this website, but primarily because it’s personal. And the reason I’d like to continue going this personal here on my blog, which is primarily devoted to English as a second language, is that I believe what I have to share relates to learning in a broad, meaningful sense. Learning a language is just part of the lifelong learning journey many of us are fortunate to be on.

So, the purpose of this blog entry is to encourage you, my reader, to think about how our priorities change over time and how beautiful that change can be. To put this into a more practical, language-learning perspective, I’ll focus on the importance of self-acceptance and giving ourselves some slack when undertaking a challenge as big as mastering a foreign language. If you find this aspect particularly interesting, please check my post “Finding Joy in Growth, Not Perfection.” Now, let’s dive into what I actually mean by a new beginning.

Time to Begin Again

Writing this, I’m preparing to welcome my second child into this world. It’s a very special and challenging time, I realize, but I’m still genuinely excited about the challenge and welcome it with all my heart. Now, when I look back and think about myself, say, 10 years ago, I understand how much water has passed under the bridge and how much I have changed and grown since then. What is important to me has changed, as well as what I don’t consider important, what brings me joy, and what brings me down. In a word, I have changed because the 24-year-old woman, who was still a girl in many ways, has matured and now even dares to willingly bring a second human life into this world and help her spread her wings and fly.

A while ago, I used to think—without even realizing it—that developing my skills and talents to an impressive level was the way to go and the goal to have in life. Of course, I didn’t realize how pervasive that thought and need were because I didn’t recognize that I sought validation from others to feel good about myself. What is it about being impressive that stimulates and motivates us so much? Why should we, our actions, and our achievements have such an effect on others so that we feel the full force and meaning of those so-called achievements and therefore feel good? Finally, why does the sense of achievement even equate to feeling good for so many of us? I wholeheartedly invite you to think about all these questions and look into the work of psychologists and simply very wise people such as Dr. Shefali Tsabari, Dr. Gabor Maté, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, and Dr. Becky Kennedy. These are just a few of the true “parent whisperers” I personally admire and follow.

They don’t share only parenting insights, though. They teach people to look at life, happiness, resilience, learning, and many other things from a fresh perspective, which relates to both child-rearing and self-development. The two should go hand in hand, they teach, and I deeply feel they are right.

Now, at this point in my life, I’d like to say to myself—and have evidence in this post later that I did—that it’s okay to feel like you are in between your old dreams (like building a successful career, mastering a foreign language, or achieving another paramount goal) and new ones (like starting or growing your family, having hobbies that require time and effort, and therefore taking those resources from other seemingly more meaningful and impressive pursuits, etc.). It’s okay, dear reader, to feel confused because that’s only natural and human. It’s also necessary, though, to stop and consider where those old dreams really come from and whether they align with who we are now and what we really want from life.

Did you find solace and meaning in being a career-oriented doer but suddenly catch yourself thinking how fulfilling extended parental leave can be? Did you always think you had found your calling, only to realize that wasn’t you in the first place, and now you’d like to do something completely different? Did you strive to buy a gorgeous house only to finally find out that you’re a globetrotter deep inside? What a wonderful and timely discovery! I believe many people never even reach a realization like this because they are too afraid to let the thought in and trigger the avalanche of emotions that can follow. You, on the other hand, may just be brave enough to confront your old self, critically assess the past and the present, and now have no choice but to embark on the exciting new leg of your life journey. I congratulate you on that!

Back to Where I Started

And I sure congratulate myself because I think I have finally reached the ability to let go. Let go of the high expectations I imposed on myself, let go of beating myself up for not achieving milestones set by no one else but myself; I have finally learned to at least sometimes recognize where these tendencies come from and act upon them by being kind to myself, showing self-compassion, and practicing self-acceptance.

I’ve lived in Japan for the past seven years and thought I’d be fluent in Japanese by now, but I’m still intermediate at best. Most of the time, I don’t follow my own wise advice given to learners on this website and in my classroom about how to achieve their language learning goals and cultivate the right mindset. I know how it should be done, but knowing and doing are two different things, aren’t they? I also know that it’s okay. I accept myself with this shortcoming and forgive myself for being only human. I say here and now that I prioritize my family time and mental well-being and stop berating myself for not being perfect, for not studying the language comprehensively, thoroughly, and, more importantly, regularly. I promise myself to continue learning the beautiful and intricate Japanese language but ensure it doesn’t come at the cost of sacrificing something more meaningful. If it takes me much longer than would be considered impressive, so be it.

It’s time for a new beginning, for a new outlook and a new perspective. What are you struggling with, dear reader? What are you trying to come to grips with? Just know that I’m here for you if you decide to share that in the comments below. Thank you for reading this post. I hope it helped you, even if just a little. Sending you lots of love and support on your life and d learning journey!